Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Making of a Would-be Socialite…

Recently, I’ve had opportunities to attend social functions that bring out my inner debutante/ socialite. Honestly, I didn’t know that a socialite lurked in my heart but since her emergence, I’ve invited her into my life with open arms. My inner socialite has taught me a couple things about rubbing elbows with the well connected and rich. These are few tips I thought I’d share….(Thanks to Melissa for advice on two of these issues)

Don’t be afraid to cut the cheese first. No, not that type of cheese…I’m talking about real dairy cheese. At my latest event, I was standing near the food table (imagine that) and this amazing untouched art work of cheese lay before me. Alas, it was not cut into and I was nervous that I might make a mess of it, but my inner socialite said, “Do not fear the stinky cheese. Do not fear cutting the cheese. It’s good for you…”

Do not bring snacks, rack of lamb, or any other food. It is inappropriate. It doesn’t matter if you are allergic to everything on the menu or if you don’t eat foods that you cannot pronounce the name. Pulling a 5 guys burger out of your bag is not only tasteless but will insight a mini riot since everyone else will be dining on endive and walnut salad.

Don’t bring a big purse with Ziploc bags, aluminum foil, or Tupperware. You know who you are. This is neither the time nor place for you to do this. Come on! Have some dignity…you can stop at Mickey D’s on the way home and get something off the dollar menu…sheesh!!!!

Do give what you can at a fundraiser, not what you don’t have. I saw people writing very large checks and I felt like my gift wouldn’t be very much compared to them…and that’s where that line of thinking ended. My $100 gift will help this organization just like the $10,000 gift my wealthy counterpart contributed.

Do talk about the weather. I know, I know…sounds boring, but it’s amazing how agreement on how horrid or how wonderful the weather can move people closer together. Try these lines, “I certainly declare. The weather is quite monstrous out there. Quite chilly if I do say so myself.” And yes, you may use a slight English accent when saying that.

Do dress to impress. Make sure you understand the crowd that will be at this event and the time of day the event is happening. You wouldn’t want to wear you purple pleather pant suit to a traditional afternoon tea party in the spring. May be a bit over the top….

Do get car service (basically a town car and servant driver). While it is always advised to take the most economical form of transportation, it might be a little off putting if you arrive and take off your flip flops and pull your heels out of your purse and proceed to put them on. I’m not saying I’d look down my nose at you, but others might….

Do not wear ill fitting clothes or shoes. As in, if you had to use Vaseline to squeeze into your dress or your pinky toes touch the ground in your open toe sandals, you probably should forgo wearing those items. Also, please make sure that nails and toes are appropriately groomed. Nobody wants to see scraggily dirty nails.

2 comments:

Heather said...

The last tip is my favorite. People do take liberties with open-toed shoes. LOL.

Holly said...

LOL! hilarious! thank you. too much girl.