Hair and all that Jazzz

Soooooo, most of you know I embarked on a natural hair journey last year (for the clueless: I cut off the permed/relaxed/ chemically fried part of my hair and let the natural curls grow loose and free).

What's been interesting is the way people feel free to make comments about my hair. “Wow, a bird could land in that bird’s nest.” Seriously, that was a comment I got this last weekend and it was said by someone I consider a friend. Why do people say things like that??? When I have a comment about someone’s style that could be seen as negative, I forgo saying the comment (unless specifically asked and in that case I try to be honest but kind). I figure it's not worth hurting someone’s feelings inadvertently…anyways, I decided to do a list of pet peeves concerning my hair and other people…

6. Black people have curly hair? Yes, Toto, black people have curly hair. In fact, all black people, for the most part, have curly hair in it’s natural state. Most of us (black folks--especially women) have been brainwashed to believe that only straight hair is beautiful (and I'm not saying straight hair is ugly...I'm only stating that beautiful can be more than just straight hair). With the USA’s history of unkind dealings with minority populations, it isn’t shocking that said minority populations try to fit in by changing their appearance to be more in line with the majority. WHAT THE FRENCH FRIES??!!!! (WTFF)

5. Ignorant questions. I know that people do not always understand things outside of their specific paradigm, but seriously, if I can manage to know something about you culturally perhaps you could do the same. For example, I have been told by many of my less melaninated friends that they wash their hair more often because they tend to have a build up of oil on their scalp that makes their hair feel greasy...not all white people feel this way, but many that I have encountered have said this. Now, I didn't come by this information by asking rude questions. I asked approachable non offensive questions like: What type of shampoo/conditioner do you use? How much do you use in a week? Do you wash fairly often? Now, contrast these questions with the ones I'm asked, “How can you stand using oil in your hair? Don’t you feel you hair is greasy? You must break a lot of combs, huh? Do you even use a comb on that (person pointing)?”

4. Are dreads real hair? YES! JUDAS FROSTED PRIEST! I don’t have dreads, but seriously even I know that…..WTFF

3. Dry hair vs. Wet hair: Honestly, I am talking about educated people…many of them scientists who ask this question: “Why is your hair shorter right now than 2 hours ago?” "As I mentioned when I walked in the door (I try to preempt a lot of these questions), my hair is wet and will be dry in 2 hours or so." Let’s see: Curly hair is essentially a coil that when wet because of the weight of the actual water molecule on the coil is weighted down and actually gives viewers an idea of the true length of the curly haired person's hair…as the water dissipates and moisturizes the cuticle and hair, the weight of the water is removed and allows the coil to draw up…Ka-Blaaaamm! Shorter dry hair versus longer wet hair…

2. Why don’t you straighten your hair more often? I like answering questions with questions: “Why don’t you wear colored contacts more often?” Probably cuz you don’t like putting bits of plastic in your eye unless you absolutely have to…and honestly, what’s wrong with your natural colored eye? Nothing!!! Exactly, nothing is wrong with my curly hair and I hate applying heat to my hair (very damaging since curly hair tends to lack moisture)…straight hair days are only for times I REALLY…REALLY…want to do something a bit different with my look…otherwise, this is me dummies!

1. IF THERE IS ONE THING THAT REALLY BOILS MY WATER, IT IS TOUCHING MY HAIR WITHOUT PERMISSION!!!!!!!!!!! Why The French Fries (WTFF) do people feel like they can do this…Really, I only see this done to black people. Never in my civilized experience would I ever think it ok to be as personal with someone by touching their hair…and even if their hair was inlaid with gold and I just couldn’t help myself, I wouldn’t pet them…which is what happens to me. The worst is when people touch my hair and then discretely (although, I always catch them) as possible rub their hands on their pants or shirt to rub away…I guess the greasiness of my hair or something. Wait, first you violate me by taking liberties with my person and then insult me by rubbing away what you perceive to be dirty…WOW! I don’t know what to say to you except…DON’T TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!!!!